Frustration!

anyone knows how you can get men to help out more? I mean daddys taking initiative and not waiting to be told to wash bottles, how many, to volunteer once in a blue moon with yellow polka dots (yes it's that rare) to do the night feed? I always have to say something, repeat it, command, get nasty before it sometimes happens. So I end up doing most of it, even when I'm sick and the only one working the next day.